I really do have the soul of an artist

(Or perhaps you should say poet?)

I am sensitive you see, but not in the sense that I get hurt easily or that I can't take things going against me. No it's more like this: my feelings swing easily, they are sensitive to the surrounding circumstances. In a very short period of time I can go from happy to very sad and back so happy again. The smallest thing can make me so furious that I don't know what to do with myself one day and be "nothing" the next. You just never really know how I will react to things I think (and perhaps this is a problem for the people around me. I don't know because I've never asked anyone. And I'm not going to either).

Does it sound like I need to be locked up? Put in a padded cell? Well perhaps I might be exaggerating a little (that's another thing I do like all the time) but just a little bit, I can assure you that. I have the delicate and tricky soul of an artist/poet and that bodes for a very interesting life I can assure you. I am sure that other people that writes/sings/paints (and so on...) know what I mean.

I am also very much a "too much" kind of person. By that I mean that if I am doing something I'm always doing things a little more then I probably should. When I eat whatever I want I eat a lot (and then I mean a lot, you could never guess...), when I exercise I do it as hard as I can (most of the time) and when I get mad I get mad with all my being, more then the situation probably "needed". To be honest it's lucky I don't drink because I truly have no idea about how I'd get under the influence of alcohol. Most likely quite unbearable. And loud. And everything else that you can possible comprehend in the phrase unbearable.   

My mother (and my father to I think, he's just to nice to show it) thinks that I am a drama queen. I am quite often. See I cry easily. Not so much now as I used to, "big girls don't cry" you know, but still more often then a lot of people my age I suspect. It can be for things that's not that big to begin with, but (for example) my mother and I tend to have fights that always ends in me sitting huddled up in my bed with tears running down my cheeks. (I CAN'T BELIEVE I TOLD YOU THAT!) I can get so upset after just a few moments that you have no idea.

Once again I ask you: I sound like a total nut-job don't I? You can tell me that I do, I know it myself. That's partially why this blog and you guys are so important to me, it's my very own kind of self-therapy. I need to vent what I feel at the moment, because otherwise I'd go nuts for real.

And to be frank (and you should always be frank right?) I like myself this way. I admit it's hard to be me sometimes, but it's not like it's harder then to be someone else. My life's not more difficult then someone else's (at least I don't think so). Besides, it's fun to be a little weird. My annoying neuroses is what make me me, and over all I love me. It's also good for the not so humble side of me to think that I am special. An artist. A poet.

How do I feel right now?
Well 1) Shit - because I cheated and ate ice-cream (way to much ice-cream) when it's only Monday
        2) Good - because it's been a good day and because I still look slimmer then before even with my little tummy all filled with bad stuff
        3) Like doing some exercise - and I will!

Wow! This turned out to be a very long post. And I didn't even have that much to say when I started writing...I do need to be institutionalised. 

Take care ! (^ - ^)